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A creature as mythical as Big Foot has been sighted — the legendary tri-breasted prostitute. Chad Ochocinco is no longer Chad Ochocinco. And btw America, Happy National Tequila Day!!! These are some of our favorite links of the day…Enjoy!

Avril Lavine groped her friend’s boobies while quietly thinking: “I’m a rebel…remember…I’m a Sk8tr grrl…don’t you remember…LOOK AT ME PLEASE.”
(Buzzfeed)
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Speaking of breasts…the actress who plays the much anticipated role of “three boobed hooker” from the upcoming Total Recall remake wants you to know that those tri-mammories are fake. And a million creepy people’s dreams died today.
(Gawker)
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Charlie Sheen and Snooki hugged. Yeah U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!!
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Ralph Fiennes currently looks like a weird high school guidance counselor who teaches kids how to use condoms by demonstrating on a banana.
(Buzzfeed)
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“Today is national tequila day” exclaimed People Magazine, right before it blacked out and made some very bad decisions.
(People)
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Taylor Swift’s cat beat out all of Pop Culture news — including Beyonce’s daughter Blue Ivy — to hit the top of E!’s list of “100 Best Things In Pop Culture.” Imma let you finish Taylor Swift’s Cat…but Blue Ivy is the best thing in pop culture this year.
(The Boot)
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Chad Ochocinco (who legally changed his name to “Ochnocinco” four years ago) has changed his name back to Chad Johnson. RIP Most-ridiculous-made-up-name-ever.
(CBS)
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Aaron Paul can’t wait to marry his fiancee. “I’m looking forward to living with my best friend. Just hanging out with your buddy, your partner in crime.” LOL Aaron Paul, it sounds like you’re Jesse Pinkman talking about Walter White.
(US Weekly)
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Lisa from Saved By The Bell is all grown up: