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Jersey Shore’s gruesome twosome are making headlines. The Biebs gets pulled over by the cops. And scientists confirm what everyone who graduated elementary school already knew: mermaids don’t actually exist.

Snooki’s reaction to seeing her unborn child is exactly the same as all of ours: Ewwwwwwww! (Radar Online)
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Not to be outdone, it looks like JWoww has undergone another round of plastic surgery as she quickly approaches the dreaded “catwoman” status. Dude, lay off the surgery. Your fame doesn’t depend on your looks, it depends on your ability to get drunk and fight with other girls. (Cafemom)
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Due to a recent Animal Planet special, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration released a statement informing the public that mermaids are not real. SMH. (Zap2It)
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Jerry Seinfeld has launched the first teaser for his new webseries, Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. They’ve already got two spinoffs planned — Athletes in Airplanes Eating Asparagus and Real Estate Agents in Rickshaws Getting Root Canals.
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Justin Bieber’s car that might be a spaceship or a time machine was pulled for speeding, as he was trying to outrun the paparazzi. He couldn’t have been going that fast, ’cause if he was going 88mph the car would’ve teleported into the future. (TMZ)
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Yahoo! has debuted the trailer for Dinosaurs vs. Aliens, which will either be stupendously awesome (like Snakes on a Plane) or an unmitigated disaster (like Cowboys and Aliens). There is no in-between.
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Nina Dobrev rubs suntan lotion all over herself in every teenage boy’s fantasy this video for Funny or Die:
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This six-year-old is either the next big thing in rap, the result of horrible parenting, or both:
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