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After last night’s performance round, I had come to terms with the fact that I’d be saying goodbye to Elise Testone tonight. As big a fan of Elise’s as I am (and I am) I don’t have the attachment to her that I did to Haley Reinhart last year (or even Allison Iraheta from a few years back) and Haley (nor Allison) never had a performance as misguided as Elise’s “Let’s Get It On” from last night. So, while I wasn’t going to be happy to bid Elise farewell, I would have understood and not having a dog in the race, strangely, makes the show easier to watch week to week. But, alas Elise is still alive (and I’m glad. Really, I am), and I have to enter into another ‘Idol’ next week with agita.
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There was a group number. I watched it. It was fine. I haven’t hated the group numbers this season as much as I usually do. Elise was the star of it, as always. They sang “Dancing In the Street.” I honestly watched the entire thing. I didn’t watch one second of Kris Allen’s performance or LMFAO’s, first because I don’t care about Kris Allen and second because I absolutely hate LMFAO. It just didn’t seem necessary.

But, let’s not forget there was an appearance from the GREATEST ‘IDOL’ WINNER OF ALL TIME – TAYLOR HICKS!!!

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Jimmy spoke a whole bunch of nonsense all while wearing Beats By Dre headphones around his neck as an accessory. I don’t know what the point of this was. Maybe he thought the viewing audience would assume he was filming his bits in between a big recording at the studio. No one assumed that. Mostly because we all know Jimmy doesn’t do anything except criticize children. My favorite one of Jimmy’s inane mumblings was when he said Jessica shouldn’t have sang “Try A Little Tenderness” because it was too old a song for her. He went on to insist she needed to pick better, more modern songs forgetting, I assume, that the theme was “old soul songs.” I’m not quite sure how she could have done that.

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Elise and Hollie were in the bottom three, as I predicted, but joining them was Colton which was a shock. An even bigger shock was when Colton was SENT HOME BECAUSE HE GOT THE FEWEST AMOUNT OF VOTES!!!
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I need to talk about this. First of all, I’m glad Colton got sent home. He seems like a nice person, but I don’t get his whole thing and I don’t find him all that interesting, but this all feels like some manufactured nonsense. Over the last few seasons – last year in particular – there has been a lot of criticism regarding ‘American Idol‘ and its treatment of women. In short, it’s not good and last season when the first, I don’t know, like, nine people voted off were women people went NUTS and rightfully so. I was one of them. So, this all feels very convenient to me. Now we’re left with two men and four women. I am the king of the ‘Idol‘ conspiracy believers and this one might be my most outlandish, but it feels like some placating bull. In the end Phil Phillips is still going to win, but for right now all the headlines are going to read “Maybe a woman can win ‘Idol‘ after all.” I hope I’m wrong and I hope Elise or Skyler or Jessica are crowned season 11’s ‘American Idol,‘ but I don’t think I am. I think I’m right.

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Also, before you say anything I know I should just shut up about this. I led the charge last year about how ‘Idol‘ needed to fix its problem with women and maybe that’s just exactly what they’ve done and I should be happy. I just can’t, though. I see staunch calculation everywhere I turn.
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Finally, for anyone complaining about Elise’s answer to the question “are the judges harder on you than the other contestants” just stop. She was honest and oh by the way, she was right. They ARE! They have been from the beginning, just like they were to Haley last year. I’ll take an outspoken contestant who isn’t afraid to call out these three idiots over some passive robot every single day of the week. You go, Elise. I gotcha back.