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Because of the NBA Finals airing on ABC tomorrow, ‘Duets’ bows a night early and the theme is PARTY SONGS!!! So, songs that would likely be played at a party. That’s what I’m going with.
Up first is last week’s “being kicked off” runner up Jason Farol, who is singing “Satisfaction.” He’s dressed like hipster ‘Maimi Vice,‘ but it’s his best performance to date. He sings all the parts and they sound pretty good on my ears, then he looks at the audience, which apparently has been his problem.
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John Legend cockily announces in a moment of ironic foreshadowing that “none of his girls are going home.” He sings “Last Dance” with Bridget Carrington, which is definitely a party song because it always gets played last at Sweet 16s. I like Bridget Carrington fine and, like Jason, she sounds nice when she makes song words with her mouth. I’m not certain about her charisma, but she always ends up somewhere in the top three, so she’s doing something right.
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Jennifer Nettles and J (No Period) Rome sing “PYT,” and I was not impressed. Kelly calls him out for doing a Michael Jackson impression, and she’s one hundred percent right. He’s J (No Period) Rome though, so it doesn’t matter. He’s still in first place.
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Olivia and Robin ignore the theme completely and sing “Let’s Stay Together.” I know exactly how this performance is gonna go aaaaaand…it does. It’s pitchy and pretty nasaly from Olivia, while Robin Thicke laens heavily on the only trick he has: charisma-less sex. Seriously, Thicke purports that he’s all about being sexy, but he does the same thing all the time — he gets up really close behind the woman he’s singing with like it’s a chore, then does a whisper soprano. It’s a mess right down to the cheesy stage setting and Robin’s undone bow tie. Afterwards, Olivia stands there like a robot and mutters “okay” after each and every judge’s comment.
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Kelly Clarkson slowed down “I Love Rock ‘N Roll” for Jordan, but the arrangement does nothing for either the song or her voice. It’s not hard to sing, so it’s all in the performance, and Jordan loses a step from last week. While Kelly gets up there and dances with the cute, young boys pretending to play guitar on stage, Jordan kind of just…stands there and nervously claps her arm. The judges blame her high heels.
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Meleana Brown: She and John Legend sing “Since U Been Gone,” and they tease it as a surprise song from one of the judges … but no one was surprised really at all. I mean, what else could it have been? I liked this. It wasn’t the best vocal performance, but Meleana was out of her comfort zone and I thought she seemed like she was having fun. It was the most entertaining thing on the show so far and what does she get for her troubles? SENT HOME! Boo!
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Jennifer Nettles wanted John Glossen to have fun, so she picked “Life Is A Highway,” another in the long line of great party songs. I don’t know. This guy seems a bit stiff to me. He’s got a good voice, but I feel like if he wins he’s gonna, like, tell me what to do about things.
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So Olivia and Meleana are in the bottom two, and it really doesn’t matter how they do, because there’s no way ‘Duets’ is allowing both of Robin Thicke’s contestants to be the first two sent home. Meleana is thrown on the grenade. It was a shame, as she was easily the most charismatic performer on the show and probably should have won, but what can you do?