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Kristen Stewart finally speaks about the R-Patz/cheating scandal. Kris Jenner permanently scars the Twitterverse. And Elton John and Madonna are at it again. These are some of our favorite links of the day…enjoy!

In a new commercial for Ragu, a young boy walks in on his parents having sex, so they treat him to some pasta. Yeah, because I know that if I caught my parents having sex, the first thing I’d want to do is eat a giant meal. (Gawker)
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The only thing scarier than walking in on your parents having sex? Signing on to Twitter and seeing a picture of Kris Jenner’s boobs. (Radar)
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Natalie Portman’s wedding included an all-vegan menu, macarons instead of cake, and a packets of wildflower seeds as parting gifts. In other words, Natalie Portman had the lamest wedding ever. (People)
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For only five grand, you can have a two hour “meet and greet” with Octomom. Or, you could just light the money on fire. (E!)
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Elton John and Madonna are catfighting again, with Sir Elton saying her “career is over.” Pot, meet kettle. (Gawker)
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Amanda Bynes is accused of her fourth hit and run in four months. In other words, Amanda Bynes is to cars what Kris Jenner is to Twitpics. (Gawker)
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Kristen Stewart gives her side of the story: