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Okay, you’ve got us. It’s kind of a slow news day, but despite the lack of exciting revelations, we still want to entertain and inform you, and the most exciting thing we’ve read lately is the bizarre news that Olympic swimmers are just continuously peeing in the pool.
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Frat boy Ryan Lochte, who has taken home a few medals for team America, released an exclusive interview with Funny or Die today where he said he just pees everywhere. In the clip, Lochte (sans diamond grill) says, “Like animals, they mark their territory, I pee in the pool. That’s my territory.” Gross, is what we have to say back to that. Watch below:
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So, obviously this is sort of a joke and there’s no way Lochte just holds it in until he gets in the water. But there’s got to be a ring of truth to this, right? Right? Well, according to mermaid Michael Phelps, all the swimmers actually do it. Phelps told the Wall Street Journal, “I think everybody pees in the pool. It’s kind of a normal thing to do for swimmers. When we’re in the water for two hours, we don’t really get out to pee.” He added, “Chlorine kills it, so it’s not bad.”
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So there you go. All those years of being taught that pissing in the swimming pool is not acceptable behavior past the age of three, and it turns out that Olympic athletes are actually just splashing around in their own urine. Bonus: If you enjoyed Lochte’s video the athlete has said he wants to spend more time on camera. Like in a reality show. To which we say, is there a Jersey Shore spin-off he could star in?
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